I turned 35 this week. 🎈 It's not a milestone birthday. I feel neither young nor old. I don't know that I've put a lot of weight around birthdays, except for when I turned seven, because that was the year I decided I could be brave enough to go down the 3 foot slide that threw kids into the lake. Nevertheless, birthdays are nice times for reflection, as is the turn of the new year.
I'm reminded of the mental exercise to imagine your own funeral. Some people imagine their 90th birthday party, which is a little more cheery, and a little more within the theme of birthdays. But, maybe some of us all already 90, or some of us don't like big birthday parties. So, the funeral exercise is not about designing your funeral, picking the music or the readings or the menu. It's for perspective in what people will remember about you and your life. I like to imagine the afterparty, instead of the funeral itself. Beyond the formality of a eulogy and the tears of a service, there is often a lot of cherished memories shared over a cup of coffee or a glass of champagne. (Do people generally have champagne at their funerals, or only a lucky few? ) This year I experienced a really distinct change when I revisited this exercise. Many years ago, I remember writing about what I had done, accomplishments, success stories, like a legacy. What did I contribute to the world? What was my impact? People talked about how well I treated the planet, and probably said something about my mindfulness empire, and changing people's lives for the better. Now, I am longing for people at my funeral to say things like, "Kaitlynn was always having such a good time!" and "She really enjoyed her time here on Earth." They're not talking about what I did at all, just that I had fun doing it. So I'm now working on enjoying my time. I'm slowly trying to incorporate activities I truly love to do. I'm putting less pressure around accomplishments and perfection and things that don't matter all that much. It's a fine line, because I do really enjoy being productive, but it's so easy for productivity to be tied to the stress of getting things done, and I'm being mindful of letting that go. What will people say about you at your funeral (or your birthday party when you're really old)? Will they remember things you've done? How you treated them? The grudges you held? Your beliefs? The potluck dish you always brought? The twinkle in your eye? |
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These two practices serve different purposes, but they can also work together. We clear space out of a cluttered schedule or idea list, and then zoom in on the things we want to prioritize.
If you don't know this about me, I love etymology. If I bristle at an ugly word like 'business,' I look it up, give it some context, some history, and I often (not always) feel more compassion for the word. This works for people, too, by the way.
Business:
Old English bisignes
14th century "care, anxiety, diligence," "state of being much occupied or engaged"
late 16th century. "what one is about at the moment"
17th century, "matters which occupy one's time and attention."
Now this has turned into a practice of setting intentions.
A Mindful Business Practice
As if you were in the business of being you,
use a pen and paper and ask yourself:
If you feel stuck on any of the questions, you can look up prompts for how businesses bring together ideas. It might start as just a list of words or phrases that are meaningful to you, and eventually you create a coherent and succinct sentence. I'm still working on mine, here: Kaitlynn's Mission
You can write out your business, pin it somewhere you will see it, or memorize the contents. When a decision comes your way, and you're not sure the course of action: how do you adhere to your mission? When you have a message that's been waiting for a response: what will maintain your core values? When you have some free time in your schedule: What activity will follow your vision? (Or is it the absence of activity?)
If you don't know this about me, I love etymology. If I bristle at an ugly word like 'business,' I look it up, give it some context, some history, and I often (not always) feel more compassion for the word. This works for people, too, by the way.
Business:
Old English bisignes
14th century "care, anxiety, diligence," "state of being much occupied or engaged"
late 16th century. "what one is about at the moment"
17th century, "matters which occupy one's time and attention."
Now this has turned into a practice of setting intentions.
A Mindful Business Practice
As if you were in the business of being you,
use a pen and paper and ask yourself:
- What are my core values?
- What is my vision?
- What is my mission statement?
- What do I need to do to do to follow through on my mission statement, vision and core values?
If you feel stuck on any of the questions, you can look up prompts for how businesses bring together ideas. It might start as just a list of words or phrases that are meaningful to you, and eventually you create a coherent and succinct sentence. I'm still working on mine, here: Kaitlynn's Mission
You can write out your business, pin it somewhere you will see it, or memorize the contents. When a decision comes your way, and you're not sure the course of action: how do you adhere to your mission? When you have a message that's been waiting for a response: what will maintain your core values? When you have some free time in your schedule: What activity will follow your vision? (Or is it the absence of activity?)
Last year I had an intention of creating space. Funny enough, this relates to a lost word: busiless, ("At leisure; without business; unemployed.") A Mindful Busiless Practice might be more pertinent to you right now, that's okay!! For me, I needed to clear away excess, to figure out priorities, and conserve energy whenever possible. It took the whole year to feel any significant progress, but now that I can see a little bit of clearing, I decided I'm ready to mindfully add business in the things that I truly value.
A Mindful Busiless Practice
A Mindful Busiless Practice
- What can I let go of? (physical, mental, or emotional activities)
- What part of my day can I intentionally reserve to do nothing?
- What activities help me to feel calm or clear, and can I reserve space to do nothing before or after? (hiking, running, playing music, reading, journaling, yoga, doing dishes, etc.)
- Set a timer for 2-10 minutes and literally do absolutely nothing until that timer goes off.
Author
Still just me: Kaitlynn.
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